An Idiots Guide To Driving In Korea.

For those of you who do not know, I have started driving on a regular basis here in Korea.  Thanks to Brenden leaving I found myself in position to learn how, and become competent on a motorcycle.  I know have a way to get around town when I need to, and every now and then leave the town for one of the smaller localities around.  Yet, with these new experiences I feel compelled to create a guide on how to drive in Korea for those of you who may one day consider trying it.

Rule Number One:  There are no rules.  Now this is not to say that there aren't rules to the road here in Korea, it just means that they are primarily considered suggestions. 

Rule Number Two:  Red still means stop, unless you can make through the intersection up to and including one minute past the red light. 

Rule Number Three:  Green still means go, unless the intersection is blocked, in which case it means play car Twister. 


Rule Number Four:  Sidewalks are for the following uses only: Pedestrians, Bicycles, Motorcycles, Scooters, Walking, and Parking your vehicle.


Rule Number Five:  You can stop your vehicle to offload or upload any person or item on any road provided you put on your emergency blinkers and are in the right lane.  You can have an added bonus if you block an intersection while doing this.


Rule Number Five:  Don't screw with the delivery boys.  These guys are whipping around traffic without protective gear at high speeds on their scooters.  Watch out, just because your vehicle outweighs them and has the green light, doesn't mean you have the right of way.


Rule Number Six:  If you drive a Motorcycle or Scooter you are allowed to use Crosswalks to get around a red light.


Rule Number Seven:  Parking on the street is fine.  On any street, in any direction parking is fine.  You can even park on both sides of a narrow street effectively making it a one lane alley.  It's still two way traffic.


Rule Number Eight:  There is no problem with double parking, or blocking somebody in.  Just leave your hazards on and the keys in the ignition.


Rule Number Nine:  It is acceptable to move someone's vehicle if they have left the keys in the ignition so that you can park your vehicle .  You don't even need to ask them.

Rule Number Ten:  Seat belts are optional unless the cops find you.  Seat belts are always optional in the back seat, regardless of the police seeing you.

Rule Number Eleven:  It is okay to put two people in the front passenger seat provided the seat belt fits around them.

Rule Number Twelve:  There is absolutely zero tolerance for Driving Under the Influence.  However I have yet to run across any DUI check points.

Rule Number Thirteen:  Just leave your car running.  When you run in to use the bathroom, or do some quick shopping, just leave your car running.  It may be hot or cold outside so you need to keep running your heater or air conditioning.  Bonus points for taking a nap and running the air conditioner with your windows down.

Rule Number Fourteen:  There are no stop signs or yields.  When you arrive at an intersection that does not have a light, whoever goes first goes first.  There is some consideration for flow of traffic, but if not you just go anyways.

Rule Number Fifteen:  You can cross any road at any time so long as you hold up one hand and start walking.

Rule Number Sixteen:  Remember what the speed limit is at all times.  That way when you come across the speed cameras you can figure out what 11% above the speed limit is and slow to that speed.

Rule Number Seventeen:  There is no speed limit unless you are coming up on a speed camera.

Rule Number Eighteen:  Police don't do anything.  Run a red light, speed, or cut someone off.  The police don't do a thing.  In fact they tend to do most these things. 

Rule Number Nineteen:  Always remember that it is ok to turn right at a stop light, even when people are turning left into those lanes.  You don't even have to stop.

Rule Number Twenty:  No Harm, No Foul.  As long as there was no harm, there was no foul.

Rule Number Twenty One:  If you hit a pedestrian just pay them 1,000,000 Won and all problems are solved.

Rule Number Twenty Two:  There are no rules about protective wear for motorcycles or scooters.  Don't wear a helmet, that's fine.  Want to wear a helmet but can't afford one? Just wear a construction hard hat.  Can't find a hard hat?  Just wear a bucket.

Rule Number Twenty Three:  When in a traffic jam, watch for the vendors selling snacks and drinks standing in the lanes.  Some of these vendors are selling alcohol and it makes a long stop in traffic fun.

Rule Number Twenty Four:  There are no rules against open containers in a car.  Drink all you want in the vehicle, unless you're the driver. 

Rule Number Twenty Five:  Drinking on public transportation is fine.  Karaoke on public transportation is even better.

Rule Number Twenty Six:  There are no rules, just drive.

I hope that these rules have been effective in helping calm and allieviate any fears you may be having about driving in this wonderful country. 

Feliz Chuseok?

Happy Chuseok, Merry Chuseok, Feliz Chuseok? It doesn't matter how you say it, or why you say it. All that matters is that you understand what the holiday is. What's that you say (no, not the Sprung Monkey song) you don't know what Chuseok is? Well, in that case let me educate you. Or, at least in my own way attempt to explain just what this Chuseok thingy is.

Chuseok (pronounced Chew Sock) is the second most important holiday on the Korean calendar. A simple explanation is that Chuseok is a Korean Thanksgiving without all the genocidal implications. Yet, that simplifies the matter far to much. Chuseok is a harvest festival that falls on the 15th day of the 8th month of the Lunar calendar. How that translates to the Julian calendar is it happens somewhere around the Autumnal Equinox. I know I'm not giving you guys any help in determining when this is, so here is the best I can do. It happens sometime in September or early October.

Koreans celebrate this holiday many different ways. The first is that almost every Korean heads back home for the holiday. The first thing this leads to is massive traffic jams across the country. If you are lucky enough to live on the main rail artery through the country, then you can fight with the rest of the people who refuse to drive and attempt public transit. Needless to say travel is a nightmare given that most people have two or three days off of work. Once they have arrived home Koreans tend to meet their friends for dinner and drinks. The day before they spend most of their time preparing food and making sure that everything they require is on hand. Think day before Thanksgiving or Christmas at the supermarket or mall and you'll have a good idea what shopping is like.

The day of, the family wakes early and prepares a ceremonial table of food in front of the family "shrine". I have shrine in quotation marks because it's not really a shrine, but a room divider with Chinese and Korean symbols on it. That honestly isn't a good explanation either so I will just include a picture of it and hope you guys get what I mean. That morning the whole family will gather to pay respect to their ancestors through several means. The first thing they do is they prepare a Jesasang. This is a ceremonial table full of food that acts as a type of offering to the ancestors. However, this is not an offering in the sense of Dia De Los Muertos where the food is left. The offering is for the ancestors to come and have a meal with the family. The family channels their ancestors by burning incense and a piece of paper with the names of their ancestors upon it. After doing this they preform several Buddhist style bows (head to the floor bow).

With the ceremony complete the family then sits down to a feast of a meal. Traditionally the meal includes Bulgogi (marinated meat), Mulgogi (fish), Kalbi Jim (marinated ribs), Songpyeon (rice cake), Chapchae (Korean style Chow Mein but they don't fry the noodles), and fruit.

Now I must state that this feast tends to take place in the morning. I had some friends who were doing this at 6 AM. Other were doing this at 10 AM. The family that I celebrated with did so at 7:30 AM. After enjoying the meal, the family then heads to the family graves to pay their respects, leave flowers, and trim the plants around the graves. Now it's important to note that only the men are required to do this. Some of the women are expected to stay behind and clean up. Which is really unfair considering they had to cook in the first place.

After visiting the graves the family then will go to their grandmothers house. What they do here varies by family. My friends family went there and farmed for eight hours. After this, they official duties of the day are done and the people are free to do what they want that night. This normally leads to the entire town heading out to the bars to drink with friends they have not seen in some time. Well, at least here in Seosan that is what this leads to.

I was lucky enough to spend this Holiday with my good friend Seung Hee (Alia). Her mother invited me to come eat with their family. I have to say I was quite surprised when they told me the meal would be held at 7:30 AM. When Alia told me this the first time I said "You mean PM?" She then corrected me and it was then that I found out they tend to do this really early in the morning. The other unique facet about this holiday and other traditional holidays like it is that the actual ceremony takes little to no time at all. The ceremony was done in ten minutes and the feast was done in 45 minutes. The explanation I was given for this is two fold. First Korea has been a very poor country until only recently. Many families could not afford extravagant feasts that went on for hours. In fact most families couldn't. The second reason the ceremony is so short was because since 1953 the country has lived under the threat of invasion. My friends say that you never know when the bombs may drop so they do these things quickly.

I am very grateful to Alia's family for allowing me and Joe (another foreigner) to partake in their families celebration. This is not the first time that I have been invited to her house for a family feast. I guess this means that she gets to come over for Thanksgiving. Wait, who am I joking. I will probably be cooking Thanksgiving dinner at her parents apartment.