Monday, April 25, 2011

It's hard to explain....

In any industry there are things that are easy to explain and things that are hard to explain.  The interesting thing is trying to explain those concepts or feelings to people who have never worked in that field.  Add in a language barrier and it becomes damn near impossible to accurately explain why certain things happen and how it effects you.  Today is a perfect example of that.  As any teacher knows, or any parent knows there are good days and bad days for behavior.  On any given day a class may decide that they are going to be the worst class in the entire school.  It just happens.  Another interesting phenomenon is when an entire grade, or school decides to have a bad day.  I've been there for enough of them to tell you that it really happens.

If you have been involved in education long enough you know that the only thing you can do is bear down and get through the day.  It makes the day exceptionally frustrating and aggravating but at the end of the day you know that you fought the good fight.  You may want a shot or two of something hard, but you know you got through it.  Most people, however, only have classroom experience from the student side.  Day like this, (like today for me) take a huge toll.

How do you explain to someone that it's hard not to feel like you have failed in some way.  Take my case for example, I have been teaching most of these kids for close to 3 years.  They know they my rules and they know that I expect the best behavior from them.  Not only do they know this, but they actively work to reach my expectations.  When my students have a bad day, it's hard for me to not take it personally.  You can think that you have made giant strides in behavioral control and classroom management, only to have months of work undone by one hour of student behavior.  Every time this happens it's hard not to have a few twinges of self-doubt about how your approach is being received. 

As a teacher your job goes far beyond just teaching.  Discipline is something that we are constantly involved in, not because it makes our jobs easier, but because schools are expected to socialize our students for entry into the workplace.  Where do you think you learn the consequences of being late, not doing what is expected of you, not following directions, etc?  Schools, and more importantly teachers are responsible for this education.  We are constantly trying to create and develop positive growth in all types of areas.  I have spent months trying to get a class to recognize that their behavior has consequences and when they do not meet my expectations the consequences are not fun.  When a class or school are having a bad day it's really hard not to think for a moment that you actually have accomplished nothing.  It's not entirely true, you have still accomplished something, but you have a major setback and must start at a point much farther away from where you want to be.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I'm not even surpised....

When you first arrive in Korea you are literally assaulted by a sense culture shock.  When you are visiting and staying in the major cities it is not as bad, but when you come here to live the culture shock can be quite intense.  I tell most the new arrivals that I meet that it will take them about 3 months before they begin to feel comfortable operating and working in this environment.  Luckily over time the culture shock wears away slowly but surely.  When I first arrived here I thought there was no way that I would ever be able to have conversations in Korean or talk to people whose English skills weren't in the top 5% of the country.  Boy was I wrong. 

For all intents and purposes, as you may expect given how long I have been here, I have been Koreanized.  However, what started as myself dealing with culture shock has now given way to something that is the exact opposite, reverse culture shock.  No longer am I surprised about Korea, but Koreans who I have never met are surprised by me.  It comes in many different forms, sometimes it's simply talking in Korean, or participating in activities with my school.  Other times though, it can be quite memorable.  This week was one of those times, and if I said it was the first time it had happened to me here it would be a complete lie.  However, this one is perhaps the most entertaining.

It happened on Wednesday when I was eating dinner with my school's volleyball team.  There are thirteen men at my school and we (with some female teachers) play volleyball every Wednesday.  After 5 the female teachers leave us and we play a few more games that will last to anywhere between 6 P.M. and 9 P.M.  Afterward, we normally head off to a restaurant to grab some dinner.  Recently my school has been going and getting 영양탕 (Korean pronunciation young yang tong) or nutrition soup is the rough translation of it.  In reality it is dog or chicken soup, my school prefers dog.  Well on Wednesday we went to a restaurant to grab some soup and some braised dog meat.  We have eaten at this restaurant a few times before and the staff doesn't think it's weird that I eat there.  However, this week when we went there, there were two older ladies who had not seen me eat there before.

As the meal progressed one of the women realized that I was eating dog.  This was the quite a shock to her as she had assumed that foreigner were either unable to eat it (due to allergies or something) or unwilling to eat it.  She proceeded to walk over to our table and ask a male teacher sitting next to me if I knew what I was eating and if I liked it.  I understood enough of what she said and answered in Korean that it tasted good and that I liked dog.  This was my first mistake of the evening.  About five minutes later our table asked for some more kimchi to be brought and the same woman noticed that I was eating kimchi.  To this she was very surprised because she had apparently never seen a foreigner who liked kimchi before.  She asked me if I liked it and I told her that it was good and that I enjoy it.  Well apparently this was too much for because she ran off to the kitchen to talk to one of the other ladies there who had apparently made the kimchi.  Next thing I know the two ladies have emerged from the kitchen with several other things for me to try.  After each one they asked me if I like the food and pretty much every time I said yes (sensing a theme yet?). 

As if this wasn't enough we had closed out the restaurant but were still there finishing up the last of our drinks.  The one woman realized that I was drinking soju.  This inspired her to see if I'd ever had makeoli (mock o li).  Which if she knew how long I'd been in Korea is just a stupid question.  Generally when you go out with your school you drink one of three things: soju, beer, or makeoli.  These three are considered the holy trinity of Korean alcohols.  At this time she has been embolden by the fact that I have not gone running for the hills yet and decides that not only should I try makeoli, but I must do a love shot of the stuff with her.  For those that don't know a love shot means drinking a drink with another person with your drinking arms interlocked.  I feel the need to also explain that a love shot can be done with anyone.  A guy with another guy, a girl with another girl, a father with a daughter, etc.  After the shot we get up to go.  I guess I should also state that all the male teachers from my school are laughing and enjoying the spectacle of this.  As we stand up to leave the woman asks for a hug which I gave her and then proceeds to touch my goatee.  This is also something that happens more than you'd think. 

After we pay we are headed out the doors and my co-teachers are trying to lock me in the restaurant with these older women.  As I told you, they were loving every minute of this spectacle, because they have all told me before several times that I'm 1/2 Korean.  The worst thing about all of this, is that these ladies had never experienced anything like this before, but for me, it was routine.  I'm not surprised anymore when some randomly asks me to drink with them because they have never drank with a foreigner before, or when someone asks me about Korean food.  It has happened so many times to me now that it's just part of life, but for them, it's reverse culture shock.  It blows their mind that foreigner could actually enjoy all these things.  I guess I'm breaking down barriers, but honestly, if I could make one request, at least make the women around my age so I can get a phone number and maybe a date out of it. 

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Revenge can be so sweet....

Well, this is not truly a revenge story for me, but just for good guys in general.  I've heard of stories like this happening but for once it was nice to actively participate in them.  I went up to Seoul this weekend to hang out with a good Korean friend of mine.  In fact she was one of the first Korean's I met in this country and can be counted among my closest Korean friends.  She moved to Seoul a little over a year ago and every few months I head up there to hang out and have some fun. 

This time we found our way to Hongdae which is a vibrant center for youth at night.  It's located right next to a university and seems to be one of these places that people want to go to.  At the local park you can witness people break dancing, rapping, artists doing free portraits for the practice and almost anything else that is a Korean adaptation of western youth culture.  You can even still find Korean cultural things to do here, but those mostly involve drinking or singing.  Needless to say when I'm looking for a night out in Seoul I normally end up in Hongdae because it is so different from the rest of Korea. 

Anyways we met up with some of her friends in Hongdae and proceeded to go to a bar/club.  It was basically a bar with no seating, loud music, cheap alcohol, and people dancing everywhere.  I'd heard about these places but this is one of the first times I've ever found myself in one of them.  Well, the friend that I was visiting is quite an attractive woman and the second we walked into the place had guys walking up to her and trying to talk to her and buy her drinks.  In fact, one Korean guy who would fit the mold of "player" to the bone decided to come up and try his game on her.  She politely refused and he couldn't understand why.  Needless to say he couldn't accept the this girl was saying no to him, so very much like the President, he figured he just hadn't explained it correctly and that's why she turned him down.  He came back and tried a different approach to which she a little less politely refused.  However, this convinced him he was just doing it wrong and so he decided to change tactics and try again.  I have to give the guy credit for stubbornness and determination, but little for being able to accept defeat.  This continued over the course of the next hour or so while we were there and I was just marveling at the whole situation.

Needless to say, he was still unable to accept that fact that this girl wouldn't be interested in him, and he finally pissed her off.  Next thing I know, I hear her exclaim "I'm here with my boyfriend" (she currently doesn't have one).  The guy is clearly taken aback and while he is Korean she explains in English primarily so I understand what's going on that she's here with me and that I'm her boyfriend.  The guy looks at me, I feel the need to state that I was dressed in a pair of ratty jeans (I was on my emergency pair because my other jeans hadn't finished drying yet) and a polo.  In other words, I wasn't looking my best, and the guy couldn't believe that she was there with me.  After trying to process for a few minutes and asking her again several times in both English and Korean the guy walks up to me and starts apologizing profusely.  Me finally being clued into what is happening (the alcohol may have had something to do with this) decided to screw with this guy.  He looks at me and is while apologizing and saying something along the lines of "Man, I apologize I didn't know."  I just looked at him and said "It's alright, I take it as a compliment, and I know who she's sleeping with tonight."  *Point of reference, I was staying at her apartment that night so it wasn't a total lie.* 

After retreating with his tail between his legs I could see him standing in the corner wondering what the hell this girl is doing here with big, goofy ole me.  Honestly, the girl is out of my league in the looks department.  Anyways the next few hours at the place go by without any further major complications.  However, it was amusing to watch this procession of guys walk up to my friend and to try and get her to dance with them and therefore try and sleep with her.  Almost every move I've heard of or seen was tried.  Well, considering she had asked for my help before I decided to keep screwing with the guys who were trying to woo my friend.  I decided to come up and give my friend a hug and tell her something.  Given that the music was really loud I'd have to talk straight into her ear so it looked like we were dating.  Every time I did this it would chase off another guy or two and produce the same thoughts of "What the hell is going on here?"



Alas it was still fun to screw a guys game over who obviously thought that when he chooses a woman to pay attention to she is required by the fact that he is who he is to bed him.  HA.  I must say that I am relishing the fact.  I call it a win for good guys everywhere who are given bad names by guys like this.